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Jury Duty, Sexy Lawyers and Ass Batons
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Thorn



Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 623
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:08 am    Post subject: Jury Duty, Sexy Lawyers and Ass Batons

So, yeah, I had jury duty today. Gahhh. I had to wake up at 5:30 am in order to get to the Court House by 7:30 am.

This is the second time I've been to this court for jury duty, but the last time, I was excused without having to serve. This time, however, I got nailed, and Oh My God...what a weird day.

First of all, the prosecuting attorney looked like he should've been a middle eastern underwear model - he was long and slim in his dark blue suit and he had sculpted cheekbones, shining black hair, large dark eyes and graceful hands. Gorgeous.

To make matters worse, the defending attorney was about six feet four inches of vibrant caucasian - broad shoulders, narrow hips, short, chestnut hair and ooooh he was smart. Bright eyes, intelligent questions, commanding presence.

Hell, the DEFENDANT was hot. Short, athletic black man - bald head, elegant facial features, skin the color of deep espresso coffee, black suit, lean and built like someone who spends time on his body.

Then the case started and we learn the defendant is there because he was walking up a major road, against traffic, in his underwear. I s**t you not. There I was, front row center, with the Exotic Middle Eastern Underwear Model-esque prosecutor talking about another man walking out in public in his underwear.

Basically it boiled down to the defendant had a fight with his girlfriend and stormed out of her house in a tank top, an unbuttoned shirt, and his boxers. The bitch of it was, when the cop asked him to get off the road, he ignored him, which got the cop to pull out his baton and shove the guy over the guard rail.

>.< This case just blew. The defendant ended up getting arrested by five cops because, once he'd been pushed, he came back and hit the cop which got him smacked and in a tussle with the first cop and a second cop, and then a *third* and *fourth* cop, with the fifth cop shooting the guy with a Tazer. Yes it was all very stupid.

But it got *really* amusing when the defending attorney, during cross examination, kept asking each and every cop if they had used his/her 'ASP baton' on the defendant....however...if said out loud, it TOTALLY sounded like ASS BATON! So during cross examination and redirect, we have both hot attorneys asking the cops how and when they shoved and or hit the defendant with their ass batons.

I thought I was going to die.

The prosecutor was clearly a very green attorney and his case sucked. The defending attorney objected all over the place and kept getting sustained by the Judge (who's Judicial robe was bright purple. Somewhere there is a gospel choir missing that robe). The State rested before lunch, and after lunch, we had to sit in the Jury Room (i.e. narrow shoe box with a table and chairs) for an hour and a half. It was looking like we'd have to come back tomorrow, but apparently there had been a bunch of legal jousting in court without us, and the defendant was acquitted.

I'm glad he was, because it was clear there was excessive force used. He hadn't been terribly bright at the time, but he hadn't done anything at all that deserved getting smooshed by five cops, plus getting tazered.

When the Judge released us, we walked on out of the court, and the defendant smiled at me like I'd personally saved his life. He thanked us (not that we'd done anything). On my way out, the Super Hot Defending Attorney looked right at me and stopped talking to his witnesses. He came over and asked me if I'd had fun. I told him it was very interesting, but I was glad to not have to come back. He kept smiling at me and telling me that I was off the hook for three more years, and I left. Dunno why he thought he needed to talk to me, but damn...SO HOT!!!

@.@

And so, my children, this is why Jury Duty isn't always bad. The end.
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su-nami



Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 223
Location: ireland

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:10 am    Post subject:

wow sounds like a sexy case lol. maybe you should start vollenteering for jury duty.
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Look!_This_Chånges!
Messing with Heads



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 834
Location: Underneath my ball

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:51 am    Post subject:

Trust Ed to come and piss on people's bonfires...

Twas a cool story (Do you perhaps write for Mills and Boon? ) and does make me think that jury duty isn't gonna be such a bad thing when and if they ever call me up for it, but...

Should you really be discussing the details of the case?

Privacy and all that Jazz... I might be wrong, and the rules be different for the judicial system after a case has been closed/acquitted/lost/whatever.

On another note, have you often been called to reside on a jury? Do you (The collective you) often get called up for it? Do they pay you?
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T0dd



Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 78
Location: Philadelphia

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:17 am    Post subject:

[quote="Look!_This_Chånges!"]On another note, have you often been called to reside on a jury? Do you (The collective you) often get called up for it? Do they pay you? [/quote]

It's a three-year rotation, and when I'm called I always get picked. In Philly they pay $9 a day, and if you drive you can get some sort of parking voucher. I've also been on a federal jury (not on a rotation), which paid a bit more...maybe $15 a day.
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splinter



Joined: 23 Dec 2005
Posts: 79
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:34 am    Post subject:

I've never been called and i never can be called as my dad works in the courts... so no fear of me having this situation..

good story though
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Thorn



Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 623
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:45 am    Post subject:

Hi Ed,

This is only the second time I've been called in my whole life, and the first time I've ever been on a jury. They pay $15 a day, which totally doesn't cover for my lost time and gas for my car, but eh...such is life.

As for the privacy thing, well, no names mentioned, the case is over, and the guy was acquitted, so it's all good.

Btw, what's a Mills & Boon?
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Cybele



Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 53
Location: London

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:50 am    Post subject:

mills & boon is a publishing company that publishes romance novels

sounds like you had fun
ive never been called for jury duty but ive only ever heard about it being boring and really cold in the court room
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Look!_This_Chånges!
Messing with Heads



Joined: 29 Sep 2004
Posts: 834
Location: Underneath my ball

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:06 am    Post subject:

Yup, Mills and Boon = Smutty Novels. Yay!!

$15 a day is rubbish. ANd there's no way you can get out of it easily either, is there? sucks. Is that actually less than minimum wage stateside?

oh well, at least you got to check out some ass.
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Thorn



Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 623
Location: USA

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:35 am    Post subject:

*snickersnorts* Yes, yes I did. Fine, educated, expensive suit-wearing ass...
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ThatBallGuy
Nomadic Techno-Gypsy, Scavenger-Symbiote



Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 698
Location: In a bus

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:06 pm    Post subject:

dang finicky connection
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Last edited by ThatBallGuy on Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ThatBallGuy
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:08 pm    Post subject:

Arrggh. . .double dang the finicky connection!
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Last edited by ThatBallGuy on Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ThatBallGuy
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:10 pm    Post subject:

The only time I got a summons I was having my mailed forwarded to me because I travel out of state permanently. I advised them that my work required me to travel, and I would not be back in the state for the forseeable future.

The lady at the courthouse said it was fine and dismissed it.

Your post makes me wonder if I should have just done it. . .
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Thorn



Joined: 30 May 2007
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Location: USA

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:27 pm    Post subject:

[quote="ThatBallGuy"]The only time I got a summons I was having my mailed forwarded to me because I travel out of state permanently. I advised them that my work required me to travel, and I would not be back in the state for the forseeable future.

The lady at the courthouse said it was fine and dismissed it.

Your post makes me wonder if I should have just done it. . .[/quote]

I dunno man. Maybe I was just very lucky.
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ThatBallGuy
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:44 pm    Post subject:

Well, I'd be more appreciative of an attractive female attorney/defendant/prosecutor etc. anyways. . . .
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T0dd



Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 78
Location: Philadelphia

Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 1:17 pm    Post subject:

Actually, now that I think of it, it's $9/day for the first three days in Philly, and if it goes longer than that it's $25/day. You can get called once a year, but if you get chosen, it's three years until next call. You can get out of it temporarily, if a given date is a problem, but eventually you have to go. In Philly, if you don't show up the fines are hefty.
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